“He has been ‘leaving’ pretty much since the day we met.” If someone told you for four years that they were going to take out the trash, but never did — you’d have one stinky stinky house. Yes, he may love you, yes he may be afraid of “hurting her” (AKA he doesn’t want to feel the guilt of being the bad guy), yes he may want to leave — but none of that matters, because he has done nothing to remedy the situation. “I am tired of hiding and being alone on long weekends, etc.” There’s an adage, often heard in 12-step groups, that a person will finally change once they’re “sick and tired of being sick and tired.” Much like him, you are saying what you want and don’t want, but doing little to change things. My boyfriend and I have been together around 4 years, half of it long-distance.I read somewhere that if it hasn't happened by now, it's not likely to happen. It's harder than ever to own a home and build a steady income and career.I've found that the more time you spend on your own, and the more you become your own source of happiness and contentment, the less likely you are to settle for mediocre.In the four years of living the single lifestyle, I got my degree, studied abroad, traveled the world and ticked off a couple of entries on my “things to do before I die” list.
Single doesn't mean sadness and on the other side of the coin, having a boyfriend or girlfriend does not mean happiness as was demonstrated through your X. I definitively do that because I just remembered how inappropriate I acted in front of the guy I used to go to school with out of extreme sexual frustration/social anxiety. I feel safe and comfortable with my x boyfriend but I don't feel truly loved. I weirdly feel slightly uplifted now that I broke up with my boyfriend although I feel like I am avoiding my feelings. I feel scared about having to date again since I'm socially awkward. He has just been becoming more distant from me from depression. I suppressed all the things I said for a few days and then sunk into my worst ocd eposiod ever. I then started to come around but then my boyfriend started to depress me again. I'm embarrassed especially because the guy has a girlfriend. I let all my embarrassing secrets leak out and completely lost control of myself.
I read somewhere that if it hasn't happened by now, it's not likely to happen. Of course there are always exceptions, but this is the general rule.